Sexual health checkups: what happens, what to ask, how often to go
If you’ve ever put off a sexual health checkup because you weren’t sure what would happen (or you worried it would be awkward), you’re not alone. The truth is: these visits are usually straightforward, often quicker than people expect, and they’re one of the most practical ways to take care of your overall health.
Think of a sexual health checkup the same way you’d think of a dental cleaning or an annual physical: it’s preventive care, not a “something is wrong with me” appointment. You can go even when you feel totally fine, because many sexually transmitted infections (stis) and other concerns don’t show symptoms right away.
Below is what typically happens at a sexual health checkup, the questions worth asking, and how often most people should go.
What a sexual health checkup is (and what it isn’t)
A sexual health checkup is a visit focused on your sexual wellbeing. Depending on your age, anatomy, sexual activity, and symptoms, it may include:
a conversation about your sexual history and any concerns
screening tests for stis (like chlamydia, gonorrhea, hiv, syphilis, and others as appropriate)
pregnancy testing, if relevant
contraception counseling (including emergency contraception questions)
vaccines that prevent certain infections (like hpv and hepatitis)
an exam of the genitals, pelvis, or rectum if needed, or if you want one
Discussing libido, pain, or relationship concerns can help you feel more supported and understood, making the visit feel less intimidating and more collaborative.
What it usually isn’t: a judgment session, a forced pelvic exam, or a visit where you have to disclose anything you don’t want to. Rest assured, your privacy is protected, and you can say “I’m not comfortable answering that” at any point.
Before you go: how to prepare (in a low-stress way)
You don’t need to do much, but these small steps can make the visit smoother:
Write down your questions on your phone. It’s easy to forget in the moment.
Know the date of your last period (if you menstruate), your current contraception, and any medications or supplements.
If possible, bring vaccination records (or at least documentation of receipt of the HPV and hepatitis vaccines).
If you have symptoms, note when they started and what makes them better or worse.
If you’re going for STI testing, ask ahead whether you should avoid urinating for an hour before a urine test (some clinics prefer that for certain tests).
What happens at the appointment (step by step)
Exact flow varies by clinic, but most visits include some version of these steps.
1) Private conversation and health history
A clinician (doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant) will ask about your general health and your sexual history. They may ask:
What kinds of sex do you have (oral, vaginal/front hole, anal)?
The genders of your partners (this helps decide which screenings are relevant)
number of partners and whether you use condoms or barriers
If you’ve had an sti before
any symptoms (pain, discharge, sores, bleeding, itching, urinary burning)
whether you could be pregnant or want to become pregnant
If you use substances that might affect sexual safety
any experiences of coercion or violence (only share what you feel safe sharing)
These questions aren’t about “being nosy.” They help determine which sites to test (throat, genitals, rectum), which infections to screen for, and which prevention tools might be effective.
2) Deciding which tests make sense for you
Testing is not one-size-fits-all. Your clinician should explain which tests they recommend and why. You can always ask what’s optional and what’s strongly recommended.
3) Sample collection (often easier than people expect)
Common testing methods include:
Urine sample: often used for chlamydia and gonorrhea testing.
Swabs: may be self-collected or clinician-collected.
Vaginal/front hole swab: can test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, and sometimes other causes of symptoms.
Throat swab: can detect oral gonorrhea and sometimes chlamydia.
Rectal swab: can detect rectal gonorrhea and chlamydia.
Blood tests: commonly used for hiv and syphilis, and sometimes hepatitis.
If you’re nervous about swabs, ask whether self-swabbing is an option. Many clinics offer it, and accuracy is typically very good when instructions are followed.
4) Physical exam (only if needed, or if you want it)
Not every sexual health checkup includes an exam. To help you feel more prepared, note that exams are conducted only if you have symptoms or specific screening needs, and you can ask what to expect at each step.
Possible exams include:
External genital exam: looking at skin and openings for irritation, sores, swelling, or discharge.
Pelvic exam (for some people with a vagina/front hole): may include a speculum exam and/or bimanual exam. This is usually done if you have symptoms, need a pap test, or want an evaluation for pelvic pain.
Testicular exam: checking for lumps or tenderness.
Rectal exam: sometimes recommended for rectal symptoms.
You can request to discuss each step beforehand, set boundaries, or pause at any time, helping you feel safe and respected during the exam.
5) Prevention and planning
This part is often the most valuable. Your clinician may discuss:
condom and barrier options (including dental dams)
contraception choices and side effects
emergency contraception
hpv vaccination and hepatitis vaccines
hiv prevention options (like prep, if appropriate)
How to talk with partners about testing and boundaries
sexual pain, libido changes, erectile function, dryness, or arousal concerns
6) Results and follow-up
Ask how and when you’ll get results (portal message, call, text). Also ask:
What should I do while waiting for results?
If something is positive, what’s the treatment plan?
Do I need to tell partners, and how far back?
Will you help with partner treatment or partner notification?
What to ask at your sexual health checkup
If you’re not sure where to start, here are questions that cover the basics and the “wish I’d asked that” stuff.
Questions about testing
Which STIs are you testing me for today, and why those?
Do you recommend throat and/or rectal testing based on the sex I have?
If my tests are negative, when should I repeat the tests?
What are the window periods for these tests (how soon after exposure they become accurate)?
Are there any infections you’re not testing for today that I should consider (like hepatitis, herpes, hpv), and what are the pros and cons?
Questions about symptoms
Could this be an sti, a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, a UTI, irritation, or something else?
Which symptoms should prompt me to seek urgent care?
If my symptoms improve, do I still need testing or treatment?
Questions about prevention
Would prep make sense for me?
What vaccines should I have for sexual health?
What’s the most effective contraception for my goals and health history?
How do I lower my risk without giving up the kinds of sex I like?
Questions about partners and communication
How should I tell a partner about testing or a positive result?
If a partner says they were “tested recently,” what details should I ask for?
Can you help with partner notification if that feels safer?
Questions about sexual function and comfort
Pain with sex: what are the common causes, and what can we try first?
Low libido: what medical and non-medical factors should we consider?
Erectile changes: what workup is appropriate, and what are the options?
Vaginal/front hole dryness: what lubricants or treatments are best, and when should we look for hormonal causes?
Questions about privacy and records
What will appear on my insurance explanation of benefits (EOB)?
Is confidential testing available here?
How do you protect my privacy, and who can see my results?
If you’re worried you’ll “sound weird,” you won’t. Clinicians hear these questions every day, and asking them is a sign you’re taking your health seriously.
How often should you get a sexual health checkup?
This is where people really want a clear answer, and the honest answer is: it depends on your sex life, partners, and risk factors. But you can still use some simple guideposts.
A good baseline for many sexually active adults
At least once a year: a sexual health check-in and sti screening is a reasonable default for many sexually active people, even without symptoms.
Every 3 to 6 months: consider more frequent testing if you have new or multiple partners, if you don’t consistently use barriers, or if you’re in a community with higher sti rates.
Test sooner (don’t wait for your next “scheduled” checkup) if
You have symptoms (sores, unusual discharge, pelvic/testicular pain, burning with urination, bleeding after sex)
A partner tells you they tested positive or had symptoms
You had a condom break, unprotected sex you didn’t plan on, or sexual contact you’re worried about
You’re starting a new relationship and want a clean baseline for both of you
You’re planning a pregnancy (both partners can benefit from a preconception visit)
If you’re not currently sexually active
You might not need routine sti screening, but a sexual health visit can still be useful if you want contraception planning, help with pain or function, vaccine updates, or general questions.
Common worries (and what’s actually true)
“Do I have to get a pelvic exam to get sti testing?”
Usually no. Many stis can be tested via urine, blood, and/or swabs without a pelvic exam. If you’re unsure, ask what the exam would change.
“Will it hurt?”
Urine and blood tests are usually quick. Swabs can be uncomfortable but are generally brief. If you need a pelvic exam, it shouldn’t be painful, but some people do feel pressure or discomfort. You can request a smaller speculum, additional lubrication, a pause, or to stop.
“What if I don’t know the right words?”
You can describe things in plain language. A good clinician will meet you where you are.
“What if I’m embarrassed?”
Most people are at least a little embarrassed. You can say that out loud. It helps your clinician slow down and explain more.
How to find the right place to go
You can get sexual health care at many types of clinics:
primary care offices
ob-gyn or urology clinics
local health departments
sexual health or sti clinics
community health centers
college health clinics
When choosing a clinic, it’s reasonable to ask (before you book) questions such as: do you offer self-swabs, can I request a particular clinician, do you provide confidential testing, and how are results delivered.
A final, friend-to-friend note
A sexual health checkup isn’t about being “perfect” or “careless.” It’s about being informed, catching issues early, and making choices that match your life. If it’s been a while, the best time to go is simply when you can.
Disclosure
This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical advice. It does not establish a provider-patient relationship and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. If you have symptoms, concerns about possible exposure to a sexually transmitted infection, or questions about your individual risk, seek care from a qualified healthcare professional. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.
